Sunday, January 18, 2009

Against donuts? Don't have one!

I keep trying to make a coherent post about this story, but I think that American Life League's press statement says it all. Needless to say, the sarcastic comments in purple are my own.


The following is a statement from American Life League president Judie Brown:

"The next time you stare down a conveyor belt of slow-moving, hot, sugary glazed donuts at your local Krispy Kreme (OK, now I just crave donuts. BRB - I'm off to the nearest baby-killing pastry outlet), you just might be supporting President-elect Barack Obama's radical support for abortion on demand - including his sweeping promise to sign the Freedom of Choice Act as soon as he steps in the Oval Office, Jan. 20.

"The doughnut giant (mmm, donut giants...) released the following statement yesterday:

'Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, Inc. (NYSE: KKD) is honoring American's sense of pride and freedom of choice on Inauguration Day, by offering a free doughnut of choice to every customer on this historic day, Jan. 20. By doing so, participating Krispy Kreme stores nationwide are making an oath to tasty goodies -- just another reminder of how oh-so-sweet "free" can be.' (sweet glazed freedom. freedom with sprinkles!)
"Just an unfortunate choice of words? For the sake of our Wednesday morning doughnut runs, we hope so. The unfortunate reality of a post Roe v. Wade America is that 'choice' is synonymous with abortion access, and celebration of 'freedom of choice' is a tacit endorsement of abortion rights on demand. (Evidently not - you can, for example, 'choose' to send out a press release letting the entire world know how completely cuckoo your organisation is)

"President-elect Barack Obama promises to be the most virulently pro-abortion president in history. Millions more children will be endangered by his radical abortion agenda.

"Celebrating his inauguration with 'Freedom of Choice' doughnuts - only two days before the anniversary of the Supreme Court decision to decriminalize abortion - is not only extremely tacky, it's disrespectful and insensitive and makes a mockery of a national tragedy. (but it's a really, really delicious mockery!)

"A misconstrued concept of 'choice' has killed over 50 million preborn (Um. This is not an actual medical term, people) children since Jan. 22, 1973. Does Krispy Kreme really want their free doughnuts to celebrate this 'freedom.'

"As of Thursday morning, communications director Brian Little could not be reached for comment. (because he was hiding under his desk from the crazies?) We challenge Krispy Kreme doughnuts to reaffirm their commitment to true freedom (as opposed to the fake kind of freedom, which really sucks) - to the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness (and donuts!) - and to separate themselves and their doughnuts from our great American shame.
Won't someone please think of the donuts?

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At 6:41 PM, Anonymous last year's girl said...

If that press statement appeared on The Onion, it would be the greatest piece of satire I have ever read. I wish we had a Krispy Kreme in Glasgow (not least because, last time I was down your way, I got a tonne of vouchers!).

At 6:46 PM, Blogger Kaite said...

Well, I'd really hate them to go to waste...;)

At 10:22 AM, Blogger Rachel said...

you are hilarious and awesome


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